Breaking Ungodly Soul Ties

Soul ties can raise us up to the highest level of our creation or take us down into the abyss. They can be great, as they were ordained by God. But often the enemy perverts what was meant for good for one reason: to destroy God’s children. Read to find out what an ungodly soul tie is and how to be set free.

True fulfillment in life boils down to one word: relationships. While some people are seeking connections that are supportive and faith-building, others are scared of them, working hard to keep them at a comfortable distance. But in God’s economy, relationships are highly valued because He created us with a soul (a mind, will, and emotions), to connect, bless others, and find satisfaction in being knit together in healthy connections with others. 

Recently I heard the host of a radio show ask, “What do you think is one of the most popular topics searched for last year on the Internet?” I thought, “Money issues.” She commented, “Over three million (yes, three million!) people searched for help on how to get over a breakup or be set free from a toxic relationship or friendship.” I was stunned! 

The soul, being the habitation of our feelings, can bring forth beneficial results or harmful results. It can “tie” us to someone, cleaving us together. Emotional bonds or connections that unite you with someone else—whether it be emotionally or physically—are sometimes referred to as “soul ties.”

Soul ties can raise us up to the highest level of our creation or take us down into the abyss. They can be great, as they were ordained by God. But often the enemy perverts what was meant for good for one reason: to destroy God’s children. I have counseled women who have suffered from unhealthy soul ties. These ties are painful, and they’re dangerous because they’re filled with demoralizing entrapment.  

What’s the root of an ungodly soul tie?

We fall into the enemy’s trap when we take our eyes off of doing life and relationships God’s way. The beginning of an ungodly soul tie begins when we desire the approval and affection of someone else over our desire for God. Because of our innate need to be loved and accepted, we’re easily blinded into falling into a relationship that ends up being offensive, manipulative, controlling—one filled with abusive cycles of negative thoughts, intimidations, and behaviors. 

Though no one initially sets out to fall into a toxic relationship, it can happen through a boyfriend, a former spouse, a friend, parents, or children. Satan’s greatest trick is bringing something counterfeit into our lives. 

The biggest danger in this kind of connection is that it draws us away from God and toward isolation, shame, helplessness, loss of communication with others, or loss of personal identity. Ungodly soul ties can be formed through adulterous affairs, sex before marriage, fornication, false teaching, vows, addictions, promises such as “I’ll love you forever,” and more. Ungodly entanglements can open the door to demonic forces. 

What does an ungodly soul tie look like? 

Do any of these scenarios resonate with you? If so, you might have an ungodly soul tie.         

  • I’m drained by this person. All I want to do is disconnect with them.
  • I can’t forgive him or her. Memories play over and over in my mind.
  • I excessively wonder about this person or want to check on them. I rehearse what I’d like to say. 
  • I’m on pins and needles with anxiety or fear of saying the wrong thing when they enter the room.
  • I’m plagued with insomnia and intrusive thoughts about him or her.
  • He or she makes me feel like their problems are my fault. 
  • I avoid telling my possessive friend when I meet someone else for lunch, coffee, or other social activity.
  • I feel responsible for this person’s happiness. 
  • My well-being is dependent on another person’s behavior.
  • I’m numb over the severed relationship and I can’t move on. (Friend, that was me for several years after my first husband left me.)
  • I know the Bible says sex outside of marriage is wrong, but I just can’t seem to give up this person. 

What are the initial steps in breaking free from an ungodly soul tie?

l. Acknowledge. Admit you have an unhealthy relationship or connection. Accept what you

    know in your heart to be true.

2. Turn. Let go of dealing with this issue in your own strength and turn to God. If necessary, tell

    Him you’re sorry if there’s wrongdoing on your part.

3. Replace. Swap the lies with God’s truth. Suggested resources on this topic: the Arise

    Ministries Podcast “Wrestling with Unforgiveness” and Pam Kanaly’s book - The Single

    Mom and Her Rollercoaster Emotions. 

4. Listen. God will instruct you through Scripture, prayer, and godly counsel. In God’s strength

    the unhealthy tie can be broken.

How can one be set free?  

To be released from a disparaging soul tie, some people offer suggestions such as find a hobby, take a vacation, or buy a pet. These, however, are only a Band-Aid to what Satan has crafted into place. You can be a thousand miles away and temporarily find peace, but underneath the rubble, the issue still breathes.

Yet here’s the good news. Every destructive soul tie can be broken through the blood of Christ’s work on the cross. If God ordained soul ties and intended them for His pleasure and our good, then in His power they can be broken. I know this to be true. After my divorce, the bondage of bitterness lingered. But after the grieving period, it was time for me to move forward.  Jesus came to set the captives free. He proclaimed, The Messiah has set us free so that we may enjoy the benefits of freedom. So keep on standing firm in it, and stop putting yourselves under the yoke of slavery”(Galatians 5:1).

Since that’s true, then why do we keep ourselves in custody when Jesus wills to release the chains that bind us? Friend, we don’t have to live under the crippling effect of others. We don’t have to live beneath our God-given inheritance as a daughter of Christ the King. We don’t have to be subject to self-destructive relationships. Why not? Because through the blood of Jesus, we have KINGDOM AUTHORITY to break down every demonic stronghold and flourish in relationships filled with God-honoring love and good will. If you’re entrenched in an unwholesome bond, pursue godly advice. Perhaps you need to even seek out a deliverance counselor. I know professional Christian guidance helped me. 

In closing, I offer this prayer. May God’s healing power reign over you, and may the Lord God Himself go before you and grant a full-fledged life of freedom in Christ. 

Lord God, I boldly come before your throne of grace covered in the blood of Jesus Christ. I confess my sin and ask you to forgive me for my actions or inability to move forward. I renounce the soul tie formed between ________ and me as a result of _____________ (fornication, etc.).  I choose to forgive the person and myself. I pray for wholeness of mind, will, and emotions. Lead me into godly associations and bind demonic activity from me. Thank you that I am no longer bound to these soul ties. In Jesus’ name. Amen.